etching by Rembrandt

Iʼm going in search of the adventure of being alive.

And itʼs complicated: why am I not looking for happiness when everyone has taught me that happiness is the only goal worth pursuing?

Why am i going to risk taking a path that no one else is taking?After all, what is happiness?

Love, they tell me. But love doesnʼt bring and never has brought happiness.

On the contrary, its a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; its sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if weʼre doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstacy and agony.All right then, peace.

Peace? If we look at the Mother, sheʼs never at peace. The winter does battle with the summer, the sun and d moon never meet, the tiger chases the man, whoʼs afraid of the dog, who chases the cat, who chases the mouse, who frightens the man.

Money brings happiness. Fine. In that case, everyone who earns enough to have a high standard of living would be able to stop work. But then theyʼre more troubled than ever, as if they were afraid of losing everything. Money attracts money, thatʼs true. Poverty might bring unhappiness, but money wont necessarily bring happiness.I spent a lot of my life looking for happiness, now what i want is joy.

Joy is like sex – it begins and ends. I want pleasure. I want to be contended, but happiness? I no longer fall into that trap.

by Paulo Coelho ( “The Witch of Portobello” )