ARIES: "Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!" 

TAURUS: Well, I prefer natural light if at all possible. Are you absolutely positive that lightbulb is burned out? I hate to throw it away if it still might be useful. 

GEMINI: "Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...Who are you?...What are you?.....Where are You?.....How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!" 

CANCER: "Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners." 

LEO: "Hi, Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your kid!" 

VIRGO:"Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw it up like you did the last time." 

LIBRA:"Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?" 

SCORPIO: "Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards don't deserve it." 

SAGITTARIUS:"OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING, ALL-LOVING, ALL-POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES --- HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!" 

CAPRICORN: "Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway." 

AQUARIUS: "Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!" 

PISCES: "Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory." 

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